A Smokeless Seven Days

In a few hours I’ll be at seven days of non-smoking.  It has been a weird week for sure.  I don’t actually feel any different or healthier and I sure as hell don’t feel like a non-smoker.  I feel like it’s been a few hours since I last smoked and every once in a while I’m still catching myself thinking things like, “Next commercial I’m going for a smoke.”  The only difference is that I just don’t go.

I’ve tried to quit before, using patches or gum or whatever in order to deal with the “cravings.”  This time was different.  I figured, alright, I’ll get gum and use that when it’s really bad because the gum is annoying and that’ll make me chew less of it.  One piece of gum is supposed to pretty much substitute for one cigarette.  And I figured buying over one hundred pieces was a good call for the first week or so, given my history of quitting.  I remember attempts to quit in the past had me rubbing furiously at a patch on my arm, somehow believing that the heat would dispense more of the sweet sweet nicotine throughout my body.

Needless to say, all other attempts at quitting brought me back to smoking within a day or two.  I think the longest I ever went without smoking was 2 days and that was when I was deathly sick, not even while I was attempting to quit.

This time, I told myself I would quit on Saturday.  I woke up Saturday, later in the afternoon, because it’s easier to not smoke when you’re unconscious than it is when you’re up and about and after that I haven’t looked back.  I’ve had four pieces of nicorette gum since last Saturday.  That’s it, just one a day for the first four days.

During the first two days I definitely avoided everyone I could like the plague.  I tried to have very few conversations with the girlfriend’s parents, as well as, with the girlfriend, because we were quitting together, as couples do.  I’m pretty sure the two of us got in an argument every time we talked.  Now, my girlfriend smokes far less than I do…or smoked…far less than I did.  It took her a week to go through a pack.  I went through pretty much a whole pack last Friday.  So far all of this has blown my mind at how easily I have come to this point.  I drank beer to excess on day five and was fine.  I had a few pulls of a nicorette inhaler, just for fun.  And I would have LOVED to have a cigarette, but I didn’t.  The thing that’s most difficult to get used to is NOT smoking.  After 13 years of smoking, I pretty much have set triggers for everything as to when I should smoke.  End of a movie, smoke, finish a meal, smoke, get a coffee, smoke.  That’s been really difficult, overcoming the fact that I don’t actually smoke anymore.  That’s why in the first paragraph I said that I still feel like a smoker, it’s just that I no longer pay attention to that inner-smoker.

Of the whole quitting experience the craziest experience of all of it was how much other substances affect me, and not like marijuana and alcohol.  On day 3, I had a TON of energy which worked out nicely seeing as it was the first day of non-smoking at work.  I had a coffee and it made me so tweaked it was INSANE.  Later on in the day, I had a green tea and the next thing you know, I was mellowed right out.  It probably had something to do with the mood swings, but I have found that the less nicotine in my body, the more other substances can have influence over my mood.  Except alcohol.

In preparation for this coming weekend, where I will drink copious amounts of alcohol with some buddies from university, who also happen to smoke, I have been drinking a bit this week in order to test the waters.  Beer has been fine, but not to the point where I have become even close to drunk.  I’m currently on my second glass of wine and no need to smoke yet.  But who knows.  It’s not like I’m in a public place, smelling the sweet sweet smell of tobacco and people passing by while slamming back shots.  That, I feel will be more than I can handle.  But even in the event that I do smoke, I’m prepared to not smoke the next day and continue on with my non-smoking ways.

Thirteen years of my life, I lived as a smoker and I don’t even know how to exist as a human without smoking, so I figure it’s about time I figure out.  Um, wow, that was a lame way to end the blog, on such a high note and with such “strong determination.”  I actually just want to pound this glass of wine and then refill it, drinking to the point where I actually feel like I need a smoke, just for fun.  I’ll let you guys know how it goes.  Happy Friday night drunkenness everyone!   In celebration of that….NO EDITING!  YES!

B

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